Monday, September 02, 2002 :::
I am having the worst day of my freakin life. Okay...maybe not my WHOLE life but it ranks pretty high up on the sh*t list. See, I practically never swear but look at that, I just did - that's how bad it is. Swearing probably doesn't help make the man upstairs more willing to help me feel better but dangit, i'm willing to try anything that will make me less frustrated lmao You know what houses need to come with? Sound-proof rooms. I REALLY needed to scream and yell and kick (make that PADDED sound-proof rooms) today but noooo I couldn't cause I would have annoyed the neighbours and my parents would have most likely disowned me. When I get a house of my own, I'll make sure one of those are built. Useful stress relievers I tell you. But of course, it's been 4 hours since my brilliant idea and I still haven't been able to scream yet so I'm still as mad as I was before. Why, you ask? First of all, there was the lack of sleep factor. But that's nothing cause I'm ALWAYS lacking sleep. So then I had a dentist check-up today. I loathe going to the dentist. I hate it with a passion. It makes me want to throw up. The damn drill is disturbing. UGH. But whatever, I got over that. Right now, my neck hurts like hell. I think when I took a nap this afternoon, I slept in a really stupid position. Fine, that's my fault. But of course, there's more. I was looking forward to watching Andy Roddick play tennis tonight. Well I said tata to that idea when the match was cancelled cause of rain. Didn't these people build indoor courts?! *sigh* Such un-bright-ness. I also had issues with ice but no one cares about that... Now for the most UGH part of it all. I didn't get an f-ing call from muchmusic. Nick is going to be in the studios and I called for tickets. They're supposed to call you back if you get them. I didn't f*cking get them. And no, it's not cause I called too late. I know people who called after I did who got tickets. So what the flying *this ain't in the bible* is that?? Nick obviously hates me. Well screw you dude, I hate you too. lmfao *deep breath* I'm obviously not meant to meet him. I've been trying for four freaking years and if it's not one thing, it's another. Fate likes to screw around with me and it's annoying as all hell. *mutters more profanity*
Thank goodness for blogger. Closest thing to a sound-proof room I can get...
Right Now I'm... Listening to: Hundred Million - Treble Charger Feeling: Extremely b*tchy....stay far, far away.
Sunday, September 01, 2002 :::
So...I took this Colorgenics quiz profile thing. Which you can take too at colorgenics.com. Anyway, these were my results and I thought I'd share:
At this particular time you are feeling the results of extreme stress and you are seeking a 'way out' but you are pushing too hard. Obviously you need peace, tranquility and contentment. Your temperament is such that you are hoping, unrealistically perhaps, that your desires will shortly be fulfilled (even if at this time you are not quite sure what those true aspirations may be!).
You are working extremely hard trying to improve your image in the eyes of others. You are looking for acknowledgement from your peers and those who come into your sphere of influence. You want to be liked, not for what people think of you but for what you really are.
Everything seems to have gone wrong and the situation at this time is such that you are not quite sure which way to turn. So it would appear that you are 'holding back', re-consolidating your position and relinquishing all fun and games for the time being.
You are pretending that the situation around you doesn't matter, but the effort of trying to conceal your emotions and anxieties is resulting in untold stress. The existing situation is disagreeable. You feel unwanted and lonely and you would really like to associate with someone whose ideals are as high as your own. You want to be above the standard of mediocrity and this need to be needed and that need to need has almost become an obsession. You are trying to magnify the need into a compelling urge. You would really like to tell the world how great you are but no, you are holding back because you feel that your peers may treat you with contempt. This is a great pity because you have in fact a unique quality of character, but the continual restraint that you impose on yourself makes you suppress this need for others and you pretend you don't really care. You treat those who criticise you with contempt. However, to be honest, beneath this assumption of indifference you really long for the approval and esteem of others.
You would like to be respected and valued for yourself and this can only be achieved from within a close and harmonious relationship.
You have so many ideas that you would like to revitalize but you need to realize a stable and peaceful condition to do so. Once you can free yourself from all the aggravation and tension around you, you will make strides that may amaze you. You will not be prevented from achieving all the things you so desire.
Some of that is pretty true...but then some other things don't seem to be. I dunno...maybe i just automatically THINK its true even if it isn't...know what I mean? Well...whatever....it's getting me depressed LMAO
Right Now I'm... Listening to: nothing Feeling: gross cause i just got back from playing tennis and i'm all icky LOL Grossed out yet?
